


Regrets

by Very_Anxious_Bean



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Coffee, Crack, Deceit Sanders Has a Different Name, Deceit Sanders-centric, Fuckbuddies, Gen, Good Deceit Sanders, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, No Angst, No Smut, One Shot, POV Deceit Sanders, Parental Figure Deceit Sanders, Random & Short, Randomness, Roommates, Short, Short One Shot, Sort Of, Swearing, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, fuck buddies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 10:31:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21117308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Very_Anxious_Bean/pseuds/Very_Anxious_Bean
Summary: Eden, Virgil, and Remus are out in the early morning/late night.





	Regrets

Eden is _this close_ to giving up on his life. Seriously. 

Remus and Virgil had gone with him to the shop, even though it was nearly one in the morning, and they disappeared somewhere. And Eden doesn't know where they could be. 

There was a shriek from outside the shop and running footsteps. 

"DEE!" A voice shouted. 

Eden looked up from his place on the floor, sighing in relief that it was Virgil. He sat up halfheartedly. "Where the _fuck_ were you and Remus?" 

"Yeah, the thing is Remus is about to toss a balloon onto the electric grid and cut off the lights-" 

There was a loud crackling and bright lights through the window. Some screams were heard, hysterical laughter barely there. 

Everything went dark. 

Eden shot off the floor, grabbing Virgil's hand and dashing out the store. He left the trolley behind, pulling out his phone and turning the flashlight on. He saw Remus rolling on the ground, in tears. 

"Remus! What the hell did you do?!" 

"I- I blew the electric grid with a- a balloon," Remus wheezed out. 

Eden inhaled. "Okay, get your ass up. We gotta go." 

Remus got up and Eden dragged the two others to his car, quickly driving away. He hoped nobody would know it was Remus, or their car. 

"Remus, what were you thinking? You-"

"I wasn't thinking," Remus cackled. 

Eden glared at him. "_You could get arrested, dumbass_." 

"I've been arrested before, not a big deal." Remus shrugged. "Roman has gone more than me." 

"_What_?" Virgil blinked. 

"Princess, your fuck buddy has gone to jail more than me, believe it or not." 

"We're not fuck buddies!"

"Oh? You're sure?" 

"_Yes_!" 

"I know-" 

"Oh my God," Eden hissed. "Virgil, we can here Roman scream your name at two in the morning. You're not subtle." 

Virgil narrowed his eyes at Eden. "And what about you and Logan?" 

"We're fuck buddies, just more subtle than you and Princey." 

"I fucked a Pringles can once! I kept it!" Remus grinned. 

Eden sped up and slammed the break, making Remus smack his head on the glovebox. Virgil burst out laughing. 

"Fucking nasty gremlin thing," Eden muttered as he started driving again. 

"Why'd you suddenly stop?" Remus pouted. 

"For you." 

"You gotta kiss it better," Remus said. 

"_Fuck_ no, I'd rather die. I don't know when you last took a shower." 

"It was three months ago," Virgil deadpanned. "I'm pretty sure I've lost my sense of smell." 

"Thank God I couldn't ever smell," Eden mumbled. 

Remus huffed. "I can show you my Pringles can when we get home and see if you can smell it!" 

"How long have you had it?" Virgil's face scrunched up. 

"Two years," Remus said flatly. 

It was pretty quiet for a while until they passed by a still-open coffee shop and Remus and Virgil started screaming about how they need to get coffee. 

"No the fuck you don't." 

"We need twelve shots of espresso!" Remus crossed his arms. 

Eden drove a bit faster. "No." 

Remus opened his door and rolled out of the car, making Eden thankful the road was empty. Remus was sprinting towards to coffee shop like a mad man. 

Yeah. Eden is pretty close to giving up on his life. 

"Virgil, give me ways of death that I can do at home," Eden said as he turned the car around. 

Virgil climbed into the passenger seat. "Toasters in bathtubs, hanging from a cord, house fire..." 

They arrived at the coffee shop quickly, the two entering as Remus paid for the coffee. 

"Are you the dad?" An employee asked, eyeing Remus and Virgil. 

"... Yes." 

"I'm so sorry." The employee gave Eden sympathetic eyes. "Remus, I think his name is, ordered two black coffees with extra shots of espresso." 

"How many shots?" 

"... Twelve," the employee mumbled. 

"Is- is that even legal?" 

"Yeah..." 

"Order for Remus?" Another employee called, holding two coffees. 

Remus lunged forward, taking the coffees. He started chugging one, giving the other to Virgil. 

"They're going to die." Eden dragged a hand over his face. 

The employee gave Eden sympathetic eyes again as the other employee explained they had to close now. 

Remus was vibrating and spouting his ideas nonstop on the way home while Virgil questioned life in the back. 

Eden never regretted his life more than now.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact about me: I can't smell anything. Even if you held bleach under my nose, I wouldn't be able to smell it. Also, I don't know if you can legally get 12 shots of espresso in black coffee but it's fiction so we're gonna pretend like it is...


End file.
